Tuesday, September 15, 2009
My Whoring Debut--Crunchy Maple Sunrise (New GF cereal)
Ahhh, the joys of whoring. It is such a versatile, ancient practice that I'm suprised I have yet to enjoy the fruits it has to offer. You can do it for money (clear heels and polyester miniskirts are expensive!), for that promotion (Assistant Deputy Undersecretary is a prestigious position!), or if you lose all of your earnings at roulette (if you are Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal). For me, personally, I would whore myself for one thing only---Nature's Path Crunchy Maple Sunrise. I would do unspeakable things to strangers for this new cereal (that should be their motto). The stuff is more addictive than crack, much better for you, gluten-free, fkdfjaslfjdfsa. (sorry I think I just passed on the keyboard out from euphoria) I'm thinking about starting a gang that distributes the new cereal to be ahead of the curve (my Columbia Degree will be put to use!).
As you all know, I rely on cereal every morning for pre-race/training food, and have been feeling swell about Mesa Sunrise and Peanut Butter Panda Puffs since my celiac diagnosis 8 months ago. Nature's Path helped me get through a really rough time where I was confused about maintaining elite performance with extreme dietary restrictions. I was lucky enough to be sent their new gluten-free options before they appeared on store walls. Yep, I'm a celebrity now. Anyway, among the products were Crunchy Maple Sunrise and Crunchy Vanilla Sunrise. I was like a kid on Christmas morning as I opened the packaging, as I am somewhat enfatuated with Nature's Path (camping outside company headquarters isn't strange, right?). It was immediately apparent that these cereals were different than any other GF options on the market right now.
The texture is a mix between Mesa Sunrise and Panda Puffs, with cruncy flakes and puffs. Like a wine conneuseuir I began by swirling it around in my mouth, but like a drunk at a wine tasting, my restraint did not last very long. They taste lightly of maple syrup with substance from corn, rice, and pomegranate. Make no mistake, this cereal is not candy, but sweet and understated. Comparing Kashi Go-Lean Crunch from my previous life to Crunchy Maple Sunrise is like comparing boxed wine to nectar of the Gods. This is the cereal Zeus would eat before he smites the Trojans! Simply put, they are freaking amazing! My first day eating them for breakfast, I won the Wilmington 5k, so we know they are great for my stomach. Also, they are a natural aphrodesiac. It is like those Axe commercials when girls smell the maple on my body. At least one of those testimonials is true.
The other products, including Crunchy Vanilla Sunrise, are tasty and gluten-free; however, Crunchy Maple Sunrise is really one of a kind. When other companies have sent me products in the past, I have not posted like this. That's because I really want you guys to try them! Amazing taste, amazing nutrition, they cure erectile dysfunction*, and create world peace.
*statements not evaluated by the FDA