Girl, This Post is for You

You know, I actually had an entire post written that described who I was, and why I wanted to go to law school to change the world/save the environment. For those of you that don't know me, I love people and will do absolutely everything in my power to make the world a better place. The blog is meant purely in jest, and is merely a byproduct of my main goal of making the world just a little bit better for everyone I am lucky enough to meet.

But screw that sentimental garbage (dismissive hand-wanking motion), it is time for some irreverent non-sequiters:

College Stereotypes!

1. Visiting professor:
Accent will be unintelligible. He/she may be the most amazing professor in the field, but may as well be speaking about the girth of field mice. Unless the class is actually about the reproductive organs of Microtus Rodentia, in which case he/she may as well be speaking about the many talents of Justin Timberlake.

2. Pre-Law Student:
After the mention of Mr. Timberlake, states that the case of Sonia Sotomayor vs. Heartstrings already established the precedent that sexy has been brought back. After noticing Lady Justice's nip slip, your honor should note that he/she will not be able to approach the bench due to extenuating circumstances under the lawyer's table.

3. Pre-Med Student:
If a senior, a ruthlessly competitive gunner whose favorite author is Adolf Oliver Nippils (MD), the esteemed scribe of Organic Chemistry Two: Electric Bugaloo. If the a freshman, a future political science major.

Athletic Word Association!:

Triathlete..............Shitty Swimmer
Duathlete...............Allergic to water
Swimmer.................Fat

Pick-Up Lines!
1. Girl, I want to eat raisins off your stomach. I mean, they would start out as grapes, but your hotness would dry them out.

2. Girl, I am very sorry to be the one that has to tell you this. It might be something you have to deal with for the rest of your life, however long that is. Okay, here it goes.....I am afraid that you have emphysema. There isn't much we can do, you brought this on yourself girl, because YOU. ARE. SMOKIN

(the smokin line hurt me more than it hurt you)

(p.s. Thanks for everything guys, and I hope everything is awesome in your lives!)

Training:
Sunday: 90 minute ride (with 30 minutes poundtown) with an 8 mile tempo run
Monday: 30 minutes easy trainer and yoga