Monday, June 7, 2010

Discovery of the Day

Push-mowers work just as well when you run behind them. It's basically like a baby-stroller, but without the spit-and-poop machine complaining about hitting bumps, or being impaled by sharp branches. Just kidding, of course--children are a gift. I mean, who else can fit into such small spaces? THE CHIMNEY WON'T CLEAN ITSELF, LITTLE TIMMY.

Anyway, after a super-fun workout (details to come), my dad and I were working on a house. Being assigned to the mower, I whipped out the carpenter's headphones, a yellow-and-black monstrosity that looks like it can pick up signals from North Korea. After conventionally mowing the edges (where the grass was tall enough to ride a Six Flags roller-coaster), the lawn was trimmed to a 50 x 20 yard rectangle. "Oh shit," I thought 2 Fast 2 Furiously, "Let's see what this baby can do."


That baby handled like a dream. The driver, however, looked freaking ridiculous. Full spandex, sunglasses, funny headphones.....running behind a push-mower. Oh, and don't forget.............

AIR GUITAR!!!!!


Notably, this house is right on the corner of a small redneck town, so I'd imagine that the passing pick-ups were motivated to devise innovative new hate crimes during my little lawn romp. But their scorn was totally worth it, because the job was finished in a jiffy. Oh, and for those enterprising souls considering investing in this new workout technique, be careful with the air guitar. One, because taking your hand off the mower causes it to stall (though the 80's-rock shredding was totally worth it). Two, because your extreme coolness might attract a horde of groupies. It's like the Running of the Bulls, but the goal is to get gored.*

*Ew

Moving on, the workout was awesome. 2.5 hours on the bike, with enough out of the saddle reps to rip the skin off my thumb. Followed that up with a run that included 8 hill reps, and the aforementioned mower-jogging. The trail race on Saturday definitely added a pocket to my man-purse of courage, and the next few months are going to be a lot of fun.

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