Saturday, July 31, 2010

Blame Canada

So I received an email 2 days ago from a reader in Canada, who basically guaranteed I would get some type of injury by the end of the week. As with anything said by a person from USA's largest national park, there are only 3 potential responses*:

1. Stop doing those things to that poor, defenseless polar bear.......I apologize, I was just informed that she is your wife.

2. Molson Light probably does not make the best infant formula. I recommend regular Molson lager, unless you want little Gretzky to grow up and become a curler.

3. You're probably right, but I want to use this last week in Colorado to test my limits and explore. Thanks so much for the email. You're smart for a syrup-sucker.**
To a masochist.
*Responses 1 and 2 may be exaggerations of the truth.
**Last sentence is implied in all conversations with literate Canadians.

Anyway, the reader (who is awesome for emailing, I really appreciate it) was correct, and the left knee was very painful yesterday. I was able to jog 4 miles before going to Red Rocks to see a Taj Mahal/Lyle Lovett concert. Unfortunately, it rained. Fortunately, I became nearly hypothermic by the final song, which is like icing the knee FROM THE INSIDE.
This is the face Jack probably made when he contemplated letting go of the floating door.

So I felt pretty good today, and experimented with a bunch of different loops around Nederland. TECHNOLOGY COMING AT YOU:
Ummm....I can't think of anything remotely suggestive that this looks like. Maybe a stapler if you squint hard enough. Which I guess isn't suggestive, unless you're a very, very enthusiastic employee of Staples.
For the week, the 16.36 plus the 4 yesterday put the total at 81. With 2 days remaining and a bit of a bum knee*, 120 is probably out of reach.

*GET A JOB KNEE!

That being said, it's been a really fun experiment. I love running, and I've always wondered what it'd be like to run without worrying too much about the bike. This week has given me the answer to that question: an awesome, exhilarating experience until someone gets hurt. But not before that someone gets outsmarted by a Canadian.

Sadly, I'm leaving CO for Duke on Monday. I will miss the people and places of Colorado, but it is so exciting to be moving on to a new experience; especially one that will hopefully allow me to make a positive difference in the future of the world. Well, most of the world. In the future, after sufficient amounts of global warming, Canadians will no longer exist because the melting of their hockey rinks will take away the only reason they had to not be Americans.

P.S. I love you Canada. Sorry about the jokes--the knee currently does not bend and I needed to take it out on someone.

2 comments:

  1. Knee pain stopping running is for pussies. I once fell off a ladder (I was hauling steel I-beams up to a roof with my testicles) and I drove both my femurs through my knees and split my tib/ fibs. They pulled my femurs back in to place and with a little bit of duct tape and a fifth of Jack I ran 20 that evening.

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  2. The thing is...I am only 50% sure this is an embellishment. Part of my role as publicist would be the creation of a "Lucho Facts" website.

    First Fact: String theory was developed because physicists recognized the need for 7 more dimensions to quantify how awesome Lucho's long runs are.

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