Law School Escape and Headline News

Law school can be a bit all-encompassing. Your friends are doing the same thing, you are in a bubble all day, and the pinnacle of your romantic relationships is wondering whether your Constitutional Law professor has a gavel in his pocket (Answer: it is a gavel, and he is not happy to see you). Occasionally, to escape being marooned on this island of stress with nothing to drink but the urine of lunch breaks, I read CNN.com. Why do I do this?? Primarily to learn awesome metaphor-construction techniques. Another related benefit is that I get to know what is going on in the gooey, Snooki-flavored nether-world that is America. NEWS HEADLINE RUNDOWN TIME:

Barbaro pities this horse.

1. Book Alleges Paris Hilton Had Special Hiding Place for Drugs

By this logic, the most vehemently anti-gay Republican Senators have a special hiding place for hamsters.

2. Shampoo Ad evokes tears for some

Hello ladies, look at this shampoo ad, now back at me, now back at that Shampoo ad, now back to me. Sadly, that Shampoo ad is isn't me, but if it stopped taking itself so seriously, it could sell products like me. I hope you get kicked by a horse.

3. Editorial: Quran burning is a stupid public stunt
Ooooohhh, what cojones you have Editor. Such a bold pronouncement! I need more wisdom....ummm, what are your feelings on using rusty fan belts from 1974 Ford Pintos to cut umbilical cords??? WE NEED TO KNOW. In fact, I will make my own editorial decision and decide to omit the 'L' in my reading of public. If the fires are concentrated in the general vicinity of applicable reproductive organs, we probably wouldn't have to hear any more about this crazy intolerance. Or NASCAR for that matter.

I don't think any of those words mean what they think they mean.

On the home front, it looks very possible that this will be a 100 mile running week. After 6 days (assuming a good run this evening), I'll be around 86. I feel like I owe this to the sweet tunes of Durham, North Carolina radio. Because Durham radio sucks, and because I have no remaining dignity, I listen to pop stations. This brings up a pretty huge problem when it comes to running with music--no matter what comes on, I identify with it. I AM free-falling! It IS a Party in the USA! I DO want to take a ride on the disco-stick! Though when "I fought the law" came on, shit got too real and I switched to public radio.

Anyway, there is really exciting news on the horizon about a student group a friend and I are starting, along with an awesome sponsorship offer in the works--updates to come. Thanks so much for reading, unlike the Constitutional Law professor, I am always happy to see you! (though I may need to consult a doctor if you hang around for more than 4 hours)