National Championships (Trail 10k) Race Report

Executive Summary:

9^th overall and first in the Under-23 race. Also, got a sweet black eye for the effort. It’s okay though, and you should see the other guy. Mainly because he was a grizzly bear.

Disclaimer: I am not calling my dad a grizzly bear.

Pre-Race:

The last couple weeks have been taken up by the start of law school. True to stereotype, people are already stressing. This is like singing Christmas carols in July. During the year 75 BC. Anyway, the people at Duke are awesome, and have been very supportive when I wear spandex to Torts (side note—what the fuck is a tort??? I feel like that would be a good exam question). Left the law school late last night to travel to Western North Carolina for the 10k National Championships, and arrived without once being told to squeal like a pig OR asked by an inbred family to test out the efficiency of their chainsaw collection. SUCCESS. Woke up early, downed some coffee, Peanut Butter Panda Puffs, and a pickle (best. smoothie. ever.) before going to the race site. Any delusions of grandeur became diminished when they annocunced a bunch of guys with sub-14 5k’s. Well, little do they know that Bone Dreamcrusher once got a blue ribbon at field day. SUCK IT OLYMPIANS.

Running past racial stereotypes.

Race!:

The course was clearly designed by someone who has had very intimate relations with various minions of the underworld (in his defense, Dick Cheney is a kind and gentle lover). After the gun sounded, you could tell that there was a group from Baltimore because they all ducked. Another group of 30 took off the front at a sub 5 minute/mile pace. Because I know the 2 main principles that govern my body (1) I have trouble recovering from a hard effort at the beginning of a race; and (2) I will do unspeakable things to strangers for Peanut Butter Panda Puffs, I let them go off down the mile descent. Moving up past a few struggling racers, I heard their unmistakable wheezing of death. Well, maybe not death, but perhaps the sound of a water buffalo giving birth to an oversized pineapple. At the mile 2 descent (after an uneventful climb), shit starts getting technical (which, in an odd coincidence, is also the title of my potty-training how-to manual).

Tip for trail descents: have a complete disregard for your personal well being. Using this approach, I fell under control into 12^th by the rolling valley floor. Then, rocks came into play. One in particular was lying across the narrow trail diagonally, so I Dukes of Hazzard’d that shit and was in good position for the first serious climb. The next mile and a half is kind of blacked out from pain (the Lactic Acid Roofie kicked in), but I began to feel great by the final descent. Somehow I moved into 9^th and saw 3 runners up the trail. I put my head down, trying to bridge the last few meters to the group when…BAM!! A tree jumped into my path and clotheslined me. Though you can tell I had a protein shake yesterday, because all that is left of the other guy is a bunch of woodchips and a really pissed off family of chipmunks.

The one on the left clearly just went to Wal-Mart to buy candy for his windowless van.

Picking myself off the ground, I realized that the lost IQ points are not something I can afford. Though, to be honest, a good hit in the face could only help my complexion. After accepting that getting knocked the fuck out by an oak was not my proudest moment, we came to the final excruciating up, known as the infamous Rock Climb. Over the last few yards, I was exhibiting the full-blown pain-induced STROKE FACE, which combined with the oozing eye would only make me an attractive procreation partner to certain species of banana slug (and I don’t like dating Republicans). Crossed the line feeling great in 46 minutes (yeah, it was a hard course) in 9^th overall, first in the U-23, and 2^nd in Not Stopping Believing (only because Journey will ALWAYS be first).

Ladies.....no? Ummm, zombies....

A little bit later, my awesome dad came to the finish line having won the 55+ National Championship. I am so proud of him. Especially because that extent of ear hair cannot be aerodynamic. Thanks to everyone for your support. The texts and emails are awesome, but just taking the time to read the blog means more than you can know. Hope things are awesome!

Sneezing Pandas and Cold-Call Fear

Less than two days out from the Trail 10km National Championships, I really feel better than ever. All the rest has combined with the new experiences of law school to create a nearly ubiquitous euphoria, and the excess energy has me bouncing off the walls. I am currently like an overly aggressive Care Bear!*

*The 'Overly Aggressive Care Bears' will be the name of my Christian death metal band. We will praise the lord......HARDCORE.

This bear is sporting a throwback jersey.

Perhaps owing to this euphoria, I had the courage for my first in-class instance of substantial participation (unless nodding thoughtfully and consistently saying bless you counts, in which case I am DOMINATING THE DISCUSSION). In my brain, an intricately constructed yet eloquently simple doctrine was collated and organized for emancipation (where it was keeping company with videos of hamsters on pianos and baby pandas sneezing. SKITTLES!). I will spare you the gory details, but the professor now has reason to think I attended the Sarah Palin school of sentence construction because the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good rejected my application. Hmmmm....I wonder if Duke gives a Mr. Congeniality Award at graduation!? BECAUSE I WILL FREAKING DESTROY ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY.*

*With smiles ;-) xoxoxoxox

I had longer hair when this picture was taken.

Anyway, the race course this weekend is incredibly technical. Of course, I will be wearing racing flats, because I hate my ankles. FUCK YOU ANKLES. The first 3/4 of a mile are slightly downhill, and the next 3/4 are slightly up (on relatively good surfaces). I imagine the race will be largely separated at this point, and I would love to be in the top 10 at the outset of the more extreme single-track. After that, there are too many variables to predict, but the goal will be to show a complete disregard for my personal well-being by bombing the descents and hoping for the best---I really think I can get a top-5 overall finish. Granted, you should take that with a grain silo full of salt, and realize that prediction is coming from a guy that has worse ability to foresee the future than a mother panda.

This is a metaphor, or something. Hope things are great guys! Will post an update as soon as possible after the race.

And the Award Goes To...

Award for most proud moment of my life:

If you Google Image Search "making it rain", the first result is this here blog. In case you don't know, the Urban Dictionary definition of the term is "When you're in da club with a stack, and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers. The effect is that it seems to be raining money." It is also necessary to print their example as context: "After Leroy finished trapping for the night, he went to the strip club, got 10 stacks, and made it rain inside the club the whole night." I am not 100% sure what trapping is, but I am guessing Leroy hunts small animals for their fur. Anyway, I am very honored by Google's high esteem for my work, and will be putting this on my resume. Oval office here I come!

Award for creepiest/most awesome interaction:
Before our very first class, the professor approached me and a group of friends. There is nothing creepy about that, of course, because we all know that professors use the fear of first year students as sustenance. No, what was super freaking creepy was when he reached out his hand and said, "Hello David." He then proceeded to say hi to everyone in the group, even commenting on one student's birthday. Afterward, I was dazed by his awesomeness to care about our names, and am absolutely positive that if he told me he was my father, I would have joined the Dark Side in a second. I am glad he never did that, because then we might not have the all-important Ewok dance party.

This is an internet meme. I feel like it needs to be stated that this is not my creation :)

Award for most wonderful Freudian slip:
Instead of saying compulsive liar, our criminal law professor said compulsive lawyer. Now, usually that would cause hoots of laughter, but us first year law students were very restrained. I imagine this is because we suspected that the two words may mean the same thing in Latin.

Award for most lucky:
Me!! Law school has been awesome so far, my knee is feeling amazing, and the biggest race of the year is on the horizon. I am excited to wake up every day, and I owe a lot of that to the people down here at Duke. So thanks to them, and thanks to you for taking the time to read the blog! I'd also like to thank Leroy for trapping stacks. Couldn't do it without you, Leroy. In addition, thanks to the creepy professor for stalking with authority, and Freud for inventing a term that doesn't have to do with mother-loving. (music begins playing to play me off.....)



In Psychology grad school, they just listen to this song repetitively in between bong hits.

Training:
Monday: easy jogging
Tuesday: AM-20 minute warm up, 6x2 minutes with 2 min recovery, 20 minute cool down
PM-30 minutes moderate

Appeal This

Today in law-related pimpage:

In a case we are reading, the judge's opinion says the following: "The court stated, 'while the future of this doctrine is a compelling issue, it is one that must be left to another day and different facts.' That day has arrived." At this point, I imagine he cocks his shotgun while a harem of pantsuit-clad law groupies (AKA clerks) attend to all of his manly needs.

This brings up a very pressing issue---what will I use as the official law school intellectual ass-kicking phrase? I mean, "THAT DAY HAS ARRIVED" is awesome, but officially taken. After researching extensively (with a classic of academia--the Arnold Schwarzenegger filmography) I am thinking about saying a super awesome answer, then following it up with, "Appeal This." Then I make the suck-it gesture. I am going to lawyer the shit out of people this year.

This is what we wear for business-casual. Our business is ass-kicking. It is casual because there are only 2 guns.

UPDATE: Another excerpt from a judge's opinion (after talking about the lack of support for a claim), "We are aware of none and assume that counsel, after diligent search, has found none." Translation: F**K YOU COUNSEL. Your arguments make the judge's morning bowel movement look well crafted. Your sorry excuse for research is a cold sore on the face of the entire legal system. In conclusion, insert this decision into your least accessible orifice.

In athletic news, my body is at a strange crossroads right now. On one hand, every hard workout has been at paces that are above and beyond what I have ever done. On the other hand, my mileage has been very low because my knee currently feels like it was recently Tonya Harding'd. On the next hand, it would be freaking awesome if I could use a third point with this rhetorical structure, because I would be a bad-ass juggler.

With the big race coming up on Saturday, I really have no idea what to expect. And this uncertainty brings with it some fear. Early today I ran with a local club (Godiva Track Club) and felt absolutely invincible until mile 8, when I was forced to walk by crippling pain and my sheer vincibility became readily apparent. What if that happened on Saturday? Would I be able to push through the pain? I guess I really don't know....but with that uncertainty comes the positive counterpoint of excitement. So I don't really know what will happen at the big race, but I can't wait to find out.

This is most likely what will happen.

I also want to congratulate Tim for his awesome performance at the Leaville 100 Trail Race! He is an amazing athlete, but more importantly, a great human being who I look up to as the type of man I want to become. Hope things are great for all the blog readers out there!

The Golden Rule of Law

During the last week, we have been told consistently to remind ourselves why we wanted to attend law school. For those destined for work in the public interest, the answer may be vague; it may be specific; but the end point almost always revolves around making a positive difference in the world. Meanwhile, for those wanting to work in big firms, I imagine it is one part the desire to represent such noble companies as BP, and 160,000 parts wanting to make it rain on all the ho's.

Fat Joe is the greatest of legal scholars.

After reiterating the concept of self-awareness, they go on to say just how hard the next three years are going to be. First comes the psychologist. warning of "comparing yourself to your peers" while turning his head and neck side-to-side in pantomime. Ha! The joke is on you Mr. Psychologist, because at most I will spend only 40 minutes at the urinal in a crowded men's bathroom each day. CHECK and MATE.

Then comes the student panel, telling us that it's not as bad as people say. "Do you play the guitar?" a cute upperclasswoman says cutely, "Then keep playing!" At times like this, I think the implied concluding sentence is, "OR DID I JUST BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND??!"

Robocop and his unicorn both had their minds blown.

All of this warning rhetoric is barely helpful--those that are stressers are already stressed, those that are happy will be happy, and those that are the human embodiment of parasites are already registered Republicans. Instead of all this talk, what is really important is to actually show us what being a lawyer can mean within the context of being a human being. Yesterday, Daryl Hunt spoke to the class about his wrongful conviction for a murder. At the same event, two men exonerated by work done at Duke Law spoke while wearing Duke blue. And after their panel, I wasn't motivated by the difference a lawyer can make. No, I was motivated by the difference good people can make. Speaking to Daryl, he emphasized treating others as you would like to be treated, and he shows that a good person will make a positive difference regardless of their station in life. As lawyers, we may be given the opportunity to have a little bit broader reach, but everything will come back to the type of person we strive to become.

---------------------

Wednesday: 40 minute moderate run

Thursday: AM-3 miles easy, PM-15 min warm-up, 45 minutes hard tempo, 15 minute cool-down

Friday: 10 miles

And I'm bike commuting every day! Notably, I'm riding a mountain bike with clip-on aero bars, just in case anyone I met so far didn't think I was going to be that guy.

Day One

If my computer screen measurements are correct, that law school is only 4 inches wide. IT NEEDS TO BE AT LEAST 3 TIMES THAT BIG!

Today was the beginning of law school orientation! Obviously, these next 4 days are the most important of my life. Or anyone's life, really. I mean, those beach-stormers at Normandy had a rough couple of hours, but how many casual receptions did they attempt to fill with witty banter? I would say at most 2, and even then they didn't have to deal with the sheer array of constipation-inducing finger foods. Cheese spreads.....THERE WERE JUST TOO MANY OF THEM. We lost so many good men out there---most were only going to the bathroom, but it still hurts.

The day began with an early run to the Duke Gardens. Upon entering the sanctuary, a beautiful woodchip trail through a stunning forest reveals a flower meadow radiating every color of the rainbow. In case you were wondering, that was the manliest sentence ever written. If you would like to know my reading recommendations, I would refer you to The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, or really anything else recommended by Oprah.

Duke Garden also has several beautiful bridges, each with bright colors and intricate designs that resemble a children's book come to life. It's like Bridge to Teribithia on steroids. SPOILER ALERT: And without all the drowning children.

Sad trombone for a terrible reading experience from my childhood.

After a quick change into the fancy pants (today's easy 8 miles follows 2 hard days) it was off to the law school. I really am lucky to have met so many great people here at Duke, and today was no exception. They are brilliant and motivated, but also fun-loving and relaxed. During his speech, the Dean spoke of the accomplishments of the class, and the sheer awesomeness was incredible. Then again, he also mentioned me being an All-American athlete, which kind of brings it down a notch. I mean, if I am good enough to be singled out, we must be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Come to think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if some of those Peace Corps deployments were to Cancun.

Anyway, this is going to be a really great 3 years. FORCING A METAPHOR THROUGH A PICTURE TIME:

Orientation might be the beautiful flower in the foreground, but even though the area behind it may be a little less colorful, we will all be crossing that bridge together.* And that is really fucking exciting.

*There will most likely be very few drowned children. Unless we happen to represent a pharmaceutical company, in which case it is safe to assume toddlers will be piled 4 deep.

Yo Girl, To be or not to be

I currently do not have internet access in the new Durham apartment, which makes life somewhat difficult. I mean, how am I supposed to know I am meeting new people if we are not Facebook friends? Life without social networking must have sucked. Instead of "Romeo, Romeo, where art thou my Romeo?", that annoyingly clingy Juliet could have just checked Twitter. Going to da balcony 4 a pee, that ball was lame. A high-speed connection would have saved lots of undue star-crossed suicides. Granted, I think Shakespeare with social networking was the pitch for Step-Up 3D.

Yo Girl....an apothecary sells vodka, right?

Duke has been really great so far! The people are awesome, and the humidity lets me practice open-water swimming while running (cupping your hands and mid-stride doggy-paddling saves tons of time!). I have mostly done easy runs/bikes to learn the local roads, but am looking for training groups in the area. The plan to post some pictures in the Craigslist "Misc. Connections" section about my desire to meet up in spandex for a good time has not returned the desired effects. Someone emailed to ask if I could squeal like a pig--I'm not sure how that's related to running but I grew up on a farm so I said it's definitely doable.

The next week should be really interesting. We have law school orientation, which entails a rigorously demanding schedule of open bars and ice breaking exercises. Something that you might not know about me? Hmmmm.......My toupee is wonderful, and covers up most of the bald areas. Which is good because I have had this ugly birthmark in the middle of my head--it looks like three sixes written in the blood of the innocent. I LOVE RICHARD NIXON AND DICK CHENEY!

Top Gunning

So the US Trail 10k Championships are on August 28th! On the way to the east coast from Colorado, I stopped to do a couple training runs on the course and it is unlike almost any I have seen. Rather than steep climbs and rocky descents presenting the biggest obstacles, the single track is filled with huge boulders, fallen trees, and tricky creek crossings. Upon seeing the technicality, I was ecstatic--I feel as if I'm in 15 minute 5k shape right now, but at a national championship that is not enough to get a waterboy application. Add some athleticism requirements though, and I will hopefully have flashbacks to my days being recruited for college as a running back and centerfielder. In other words, those pencil-necked dweebs are gonna get it. THERE'S CHARLIE IN THEM TREES. THEY'RE GONNA TAKE AWAY YOUR WINGS MAVERICK!

Anyway, had an awesome workout this morning! The knee is still the appendage version of a sad panda, and faster runs seem to hurt less for some reason. So did 4x1 mile at my high school track (where I used to be a 100 meter runner!) in 4:50 average with 3 minutes rest. There was a light drizzle and the weather was absolutely perfect! Also, I tasted pennies. That has to be good.

In much more awesome news, my mom has began running! She has already gotten up to 21 minutes straight, and will be crushing my dreams in no time. Come to think about it, I'm 22 years old....which means she must have had me when she was like 13. I'll have to ask her if she actually grew up in Alabama.

A couple of pics that I took while sitting at the river after our run together:

Still night on the river.

I was gonna say that this picture is sad, then I realized it would be scary as fuck if he grabbed it.

The red light from my head lamp reflecting on the water. Monet just rolled over in his grave.

Finally, 2 of my best friends are blogging, and I'd love it if you gave them a quick click:

Brendan is a great runner, and his blog is hilarious. If you want a laugh, it's definitely worth following his blog.

Morgan is a brilliant girl and a fantastic writer. I have read some of her short stories, and her pace/tone is truly unique. I'm excited to see where it goes.

Thanks so much for reading guys. I always appreciate you taking the time to click on the blog. Now it's time to go play some shirtless, sweaty volleyball with a few of my bros...

Why I Don't Get Many Sponsors

On Monday, New Planet (an awesome gluten-free beer company) asked me to write something for their website. Of course, I did so immediately, because 22 years of beer commercials have taught me that the slightest association with hoppy goodness will make me irresistible to all buxom blonds.*

*Aaaand TWINS!

So I sent the post an hour later, only to wait on a response for 48 hours. Now, in the past I have been contacted by some major outlets with actual journalistic integrity (Dear Penthouse...) asking to use posts I had written (usually the serious ones). This required me to delete them from the blog--every single time they came back nearly unrecognizable (if they came back at all). Thus, when I got that response 2 days later, I was not surprised to find that the wheels of the editing process churned a butter of infinite sadness (that even removed my awesome metaphors!). Seriously New Planet, when you take out humor from my writing, you are left with the ramblings of a pregnant hormonal woman with a bottle of ecstasy and a thesaurus.

Here is a link to that post.

What was edited? Here is the rundown:

1. A joke about making out with a barstool.
2. A poop story.
3. Nudity references.
4. A sad panda photoshop.

MARK TWAIN WOULD BE FURIOUS THAT YOU REMOVED SUCH DELICATE SATIRE. In Communist Russia, jokes MAKE you. ATTICA! ATTICA!

In retrospect, I guess this is all just a result of how much I loath editing. If I become president, America's Most Wanted will be updated to include only: armed robbers, editors, murderers, drivers who go slow in the left lane, and food critics. To be serious, New Planet is actually an amazing company with an amazing product--everyone who tries the beer (celiac or not) absolutely loves its subtle sweetness and crisp finish. You should buy some for the whole family! Is it environmentally friendly, low calorie, and delicious? YES. Does it make good infant formula? It depends how much Russian heritage you have.

So thanks New Planet! I really appreciate everything. Also, I recommend not writing posts after 3 beers, even when those beers are "bright", "well-balanced", "and....ALL RIGHTS RESERVED".

Durham Drift

I am currently writing from my childhood home in Maryland, where I bought my first car! When I slammed on the gas for the first time, I screamed, I LIVE LIFE A QUARTER-MILE AT A TIME.* Which is awesome, because this car gives me about an extra minute a pop. 

*Tag-line for 5 Fast 5 Furious: Battle of the Kias.

While in MD, I went to an Orioles game with my brother and his friends. The game ended on a walk-off home-run, which is unlike most baseball games in that it didn't end when everyone left the stadium for something more exciting, such as watching paint dry. "But David!" you may exclaim, "What about the smell of freshly cut grass? The crack of the bat! CHILDHOOD INNOCENCE!!!!" My response is that no one actually enjoys baseball--they may like the idea of baseball, but not the game itself. That being said, your exclamations have aroused George Will in a way that usually doesn't happen unless he dreams about zombie Ronald Reagan murdering everyone on welfare.

Being home also provides a few running courses where I know my best times, and I went after one of them yesterday. Around our house is a trail covered in pine needles, with technical turns and slight elevation gains. Coming down from altitude, each acceleration felt effortless in a way that is really tough to describe. I wanted to hurt; I wanted to sprint out of every turn and hold it until the next obstacle. It was so strange--the day was 97 degrees, yet chills were running down my spine as each familiar bend in the trail passed with a blur. Each lap was quicker than the last, before one final desperate sprint revealed a 2 minute PR. 

Though, to tell you the truth, I'm not even sure that the PR was the result of training. I really believe that transcendent runs are not mutually exclusive from the rest of life, at least for me. During the run, each turn held a little bit of the unexpected. Could I keep up the pace? How would my body respond to the heat? Each time, I honestly didn't know what the answer would be. Those chills represented the excitement, the anxiousness, to find out what was around the corner.

Heading to Duke for good tomorrow (class starts next week), every experience will be something new. Sitting here typing, I am anxious, I am excited, to find out what is next---that run and the future are one and the same right now. Thinking about it all, one thing is clear---we do not run, or bike, or swim in order to escape the real world. We do these things in order to engage with life, to make things a little bit clearer. And even on a hot day, that can be enough to give you chills.

Law School Secrets REVEALED

Because I will most likely be writing a bit about law school over the next few months, I think it would be good to give you a summary of what to expect. Significantly, I have no idea what to expect. But I watched Matlock once, so you can trust my expertise.

Today we begin with CLASSES:
1. Civil Procedure--We watch Jerry Springer over and over, until we understand enough about the human condition to want to sue the shit out of every person we have ever loved.

2. Criminal Law--Where we learn such time-tested maxims as WHEN IN-LAWS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE INLAWS. Afterward, we watch Mean Girls and gossip about just what went wrong with Lindsay Lohan.

Serious Cat loved Mean Girls.

3. Constitutional Law--In a piece of legal scholarship destined to change the face of liberty itself, 'Constitutional' has been found BY THIS BLOG to be an anagram for "Soon Lunatic Tit". Basically, the founding fathers could see into the future, and we will spend the time in class placing bets on the release date of Lindsay Lohan's sex tape.*

*June 12, 2011. It's all in the Masonic clues on the one-dollar bill.

Jerry Bruckheimer, I only ask for a small consulting fee for my sequel idea.

In other news, I hope the blog is never read by Duke Law professors. They might see how smart I am, and decide that the pupil has actually become the teacher. I mean, I can't teach graduate school! My jacket is not nearly tweedy enough!

Quick law school Q+A:
Q. What will orientation for incoming students be like?
A. As with every good bonding exercise, you do trust falls. At law school though, the lesson is directed at the catchers. The idea is to let the sucker hit the ground--it teaches a very important lesson about liability and grade curve social dynamics.

Q. What is the best way to get good grades?
A. Sell your soul to the Devil. His minions are plentiful in any law school, and they will kindly expedite the process for a small referral fee.

Anyway, yesterday I was able to do my first longer run in Duke Forest! There are 45 miles of trails right near campus that I can't wait to explore. And with the US Trail 10k Championships in North Carolina on August 28th, I am feeling really great. Hopefully the first few weeks of law school will suck enough of my soul out to make me light on race day!

Learning at Duke

Duke Law handbook covergirl, why don't we take a break from studyin' to have some awkward conversation??

I am learning so much at Duke! Most of the lessons can be compiled into two simple subcategories.

1. Fiscal Responsibility
Executive Summary: There is not enough money in the budget for a girlfriend. Real or imaginary.

2. Sense of Direction
When I run from home in a new place, it takes a printed sheet from Google Maps, a compass, and a very generous feeling about approaching strangers while wearing spandex. The good thing is that all of my short runs have been long runs. The bad news is that the strangers may start to figure out that my promise of sexual favors in exchange for their directional advice comes from a person that cannot unscrew a child-proof cap.
Executive Summary: I have repetitively been on the receiving end of an intellectual roundhouse kick by salmon.

Even with those pratfalls, the apartment is furnished! The local thrift stores are now empty! My couch may have been manufactured during the Nixon administration!*

*I say Nixon because it is tie-dye. Granted, the tag says it is just yellow. If you are about to ask where the green and brown originated, I have a very simple answer. That answer is willful ignorance, and it is the only way to be as much of a freaking genius as me. In other news, SKITTLES!

While running (the knee is feels better all the time!), I couldn't help but notice that it is not humid at all. Weird, right? WILLFULL IGNORANCE RULES THE DAY. Granted, the ignorance probably explains why my first post-run pee was the same color as my couch.......oh god, I think I figured out where the stain came from....

ROAD TRIP!

With my previous post, I mentioned wanting to change the world. But what changes are you speaking of, Galactic Emperor Dave? After spending a bit of time on Route 70, the first change will be turning Kansas into a penal colony. It will definitely be a harsher punishment---I mean, they have running water in prison! In Kansas, they just have Jesus billboards and an aggregate IQ exceeded by certain families of dung beetles. But what exciting adventures await! Today's drive-thru states:

1. Missouri! A place where the only reason you have to wake up each morning is the urgent need to charge your pacemaker. For the littlest Golden Corral fans, now in child's sizes!

2. Illinois! By listening to the radio, I assume that Toby Keith is a minor deity. ("Boy, did you say MINOR??") Also, Barack Obama is from here, so I assume that somewhere within the population are 3 wise men, and a shit-ton of myrrh

Anyway, it's important to point out that I love this country. I really admire the founding fathers! I mean, they admitted Kentucky as a state, which clearly shows they have a great sense of humor.

Some pictures from the road:

At the end of that rainbow is a pot of Skittles. Which is a good way for people in Kansas to control their blood sugar.

Hitting you over the head with an environmental message picture time:

It's actually not windy, but someone at the Golden Corral did just fart.

In all seriousness, I miss Colorado. The last night was an absolutely awesome time at Lucho's, and it really embodied everything I love about this summer--great people, huge laughs, and amazing food. Also, alcohol and children. But not combined. That would be how Kansas schools conduct nap time.

Weekly mileage:
92 miles (2 total rest days for the knee)

The Challenge

With less than 24 hours left in Colorado, it is time to confront the next step as an objective reality rather than a figurative abstraction. I really have no idea what to expect--I have only visited Duke once; I have never spent time in the South; shit, I've never even had my own apartment. I want to say that I'm excited, then proceed to crack a joke about LOL school and about the Devil not being able to find a lawyer due to a conflict of interest. But there is fear about what I will find lurking around the corner. It would be a lie to say I'm not scared.

Whenever people hear what I am doing next, they shout their warnings: Law school will be miserable! Do you really even want to go?! THE BRITISH ARE COMING! OTHER EXCLAMATIONS! Are they right? They must be, I mean, why does everyone say the same thing?

The broken record seemingly destined to play warnings until eternity has imprinted itself upon my brain. I get to meet all of these brilliant people! But it will be in a cutthroat, superficial environment. You'll know absolutely no one. Maybe I can save the world one day! What are you, a child? Columbia was a chaperoned cakewalk compared to what you'll be facing next.

So why am I writing this post? No one wants to read about your fear, David. Go back to dick jokes. I guess I just wanted to make a clear, declarative statement that I can look back on over the next few months, even over the next few years:

I will fight.

This next step is going to be a challenge. But isn't that what makes life exciting? Over the next 3 years, I will not take the easy way out. I will not sell out to become a cog in the corporate machine. That will make for some long nights. Changing the world for the better will be unceasingly tiring. Through that fatigue, though, we have one indispensable tool: the determination to do what is right. So it is impossible to know exactly what is to come in the next month....the next year....the next decade. But I do know one thing: I will never stop fighting. I will face the challenges.

And that is so fucking exciting.