Saturday, July 27, 2013

LaSportiva Eldora Trail 10k Race Report

Executive Summary:
1st overall in 38:40, a 2:10 margin over 2nd and a 23 second course record. 23 seconds might not seem like much, but the North Carolina General Assembly could disenfranchise hundreds of voters in that time. At this rate, given a few more months, the only people that will be able to vote in NC are Art Pope and zombie Ayn Rand.

In case you never finished Atlas Shrugged, John Galt is actually Puppy Addie. 

THE BAR EXAM IS IN 3 DAYS! ARGHHHHHHHH! ARGHHHHHHHHH is actually both a statement of impending doom, and a useful acronym. A stands for Actionable. I think R is Resitution. G....not sure what G is. Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help!

So I should probably get back to studying. I've reached the point where I'm looking to outside help. Constitutional Law...Schoolhouse Rock. Criminal Law...Judge Judy. Torts...ummm...Cupcake Wars? As previously mentioned, I should probably learn what a tort is.

Did someone say cake?! My study partner heard someone say cake.

Anyway, raced up here on my last day in Colorado! A 10k on trails with 1,000 feet of climbing at 9,000 feet elevation outside Boulder sounds like a root canal, but it's actually way better than that. Mostly because there are no dentists.

In bar exam hypotheticals, dentists often commit murders. I think I have some pent-up aggression toward that profession. I have also learned that if your name is Dan Defendant, you should probably have a lawyer on retainer. Oh dear god...retainer. I bet that'll be the next murder weapon.

Look, no cavities!

Strap on some inov-8s, toe the line, AND THEY'RE OFF!

It starts up a steep climb, and I jumped to the lead before it plunged back into twisty single-track. To be honest, my body felt a bit horrible today and I had trouble focusing. I blame the test. And if anyone says that the bar exam is not a proximate cause of my running malaise, I will refer them to a dentist.

It was such a fun race, even if my breathing sounded like a moose passing a kidney stone. Dad won the 60+ age group and I am so proud of him. Addie won the award for best dog alive. And Addie's poop won the award for best impression of what a moose would pass.

She was a prodigy.

Speaking of pass, I should review what a Corporation is. Spoiler Alert: it's a person, and it had generous tax-deductible donations to the Romney campaign. Thanks so much for everything guys! Back on the grid starting on Wednesday night. You all are amazing!


  1. Congrats on the race and I hope you score a course record on the Bar Exam.

  2. Thanks Patrick, that is amazing of you. I just hope not to DNF :) Really, really appreciate the comment.

  3. Go rock it.....just, you know, for this once, maybe refrain from the poop jokes if there are essay questions?

  4. Awesome race, David!! I think A.R.G.H. stands for absinthe, rum, gin and hennessy but I might have to check on that one

  5. great race but sub-par RR. i guess with the bar exam you have an excuse this one time but i expect more photos, more poop, more details on how you were crushing the souls of the other competitors. good luck

  6. Good luck on the bar! Crush its dreams!

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